Now this is incredibly tardy. This race occurred a week ago, but I’ve only just found the spare time to put finger to keyboard and type out my thoughts.
After the niggles and bad heads of the last few weeks, I was decidedly nervous starting this race. Every year, our club holds a 5K race along the promenade, a pancake flat 5K with only the wind providing an element of uncertainty about the conditions. It’s a fun event and a good chance to see how you’ve progressed over twelve months.
One fact was staring me plainly in the face - My best times this year had come from races where I was not racing against my squad mates. Okay, I’m a wuss, but I dislike racing against people I know. For some reason it knocks my head right off course. There was no getting away from that this time. The days leading up the race brought on that horrible feeling of slight nausea that comes with nerves.
The afternoon of the race, I decided that enough was enough. I was bored of feeling like this. Also there was a faint whiff of feeling ridiculous. I’m a grown man for god sake, indeed, MTFU was needed in spades. I tried to turn a negative into a positive. I thought about my good performances over the previous few months. Was there a common theme that I could use to my advantage that evening?
II realised there was, of the races I was most proud of, I’d internalised my race as much as possible, not letting the outside world affect what I was feeling. The best description of this would be to say that mentally I was running down a dark, narrow tunnel and the only thing I could hear was the mantra that would see me well through the race. My wobbles had come when I’d opened up to let the stimulation of the outside world affect my brain. I decided to give that another go.
I trundled down there early to get a decent warm up in. The wind was blowing such that it would be in my face during the second half, on the way back to the start. It was breezy, but not too strong. After some gentle and stead running, I did a few strides, but by that point people were gathering at the start and I felt a little self conscious.
People started jockeying for a good starting position, the promenade was narrow enough to have caused a significant problem if you found yourself behind too many slower runners. I was determined not to go off like a demon, remembering last year. I also wasn’t going to be looking at my watch, but new the mile markers would buss on my wrist.
We started the race and I quickly tried to find a good steady pace, I was completely focused internally and calming myself down with good thoughts. Getting angsty at this point would help no-one. I made a mental note of who was around me, but it was just that – a note – nothing to react over at this early stage.
As my watch buzzed the first mile, I notice that Dale, one of my squad mates was by me. He was obviously in control and was running well. The fact that he was reigning it in gave me confidence that I was on the right track. Neil came along side us and started chatting to Dale. “If you can talk you’re not working hard enough!” I thought to myself, still trying to stay in my zone. Neil did speak to me, but I only gave him a one word answer. I didn’t want to seem rude, but I was there to race and anything else was a distraction from that. Just before the turn there were group of about five of us, the front runners were starting to come back the other way. I didn’t count them so I had no idea whereabouts I was in the field.
As we turned, I knew the others were going to take turns drafting. At this point I was hanging in there just behind them, but it was becoming a struggle. I knew all the runners in that group were normally faster than me so if I could just keep close to them I was on for something around a PB. Nick’s advice of ‘chase the vest’ became ‘stay with the vest’ as I wasn’t getting any drafting benefit but was determined to keep with them.
We turned to head home and the wind hit me in the face. The group were probably about 10m in front and looking strong. It was starting to hurt now and the old internal monologue of “don’t you feel like stopping yet” started. It’s a voice that starts as a whisper and gets louder and louder as you get more tired. I was focusing in on what I’m good at and working hard. I noticed that the group, although in front were not pulling away so I needed to stick with them.
Fatigue always sends strange thoughts through your head, but I was mentally I was making a deal with myself. “You could slow now and have another of ‘those’ races or you can carry on and see what happens”. It was a deal that I was having to make every thirty seconds, but I was making the right choice every time. Another feeling that kept me on course was that I didn’t want anyone to pass me in the second half of the race, I couldn’t hear anyone behind me, but I thought to myself “There could be someone on your shoulder, keep going”. All these thoughts carried me through the second half of the race.
I’d picked out the point where I was going to drop the hammer when I’d done my warm up. The Red Cow gave me about 200m sprint for the finish. This point was now coming into view. When it gets to this stage, you think to yourself “oh stuff it, let’s empty the tank”. Up went my speed and I tried to make sure I was running with the best form I could. The group in front were now being reeled in, I didn’t realise at first but then I thought “I could take them here”. I kept my head up and dug in. Unfortunately, any chance of stealthily coming up on their shoulder was negated by the fact I was huffing and puffing like a steam train. They heard me coming up and reacted. About 5 of us sprinted for the line with the rest of the club at the finish cheering. What a great way to finish a race. We all crossed the line pretty much together and I knocked 22secs of my previous 5k PB with a 19:06.
To put that into perspective, when I did the same race last year, my time was 21:33. So that’s 2 and a half minutes quicker in 12 months!
Sub-19 is the new Sub-20!
It was a great evening’s racing and I managed to get the monkey off my back about racing people I know. Instead of being overly competitive, I think we all helped each other in that race and that was a nice feeling
