Salvation Through Tuna

Of all the things to do it, I never thought a Tuna sandwich would be the one.

I was standing in the queue at the sandwich shop, waiting for my Ham and Cheese Savoury wrap. Not the unhealthiest lunch in the world, but it is not sausage and chips either.

Then in he walked.

I’m sure it is not just me that makes a snap judgement on someone on first sight, is it? Well this guy screamed “RUNNER”. Not only that but it was the markings of a good runner. He was about my height, close cropped hair, a ridiculously cool pair of shades on and a body fat percentage of about 5%. I think one of my thighs might have weighed more than he did. The ‘runner’ glided into the shop and went up to the counter.

“Tuna sandwich on wholemeal please.”

BAM!

It was light a lightning bolt came out of the sky and stuck me down there and then. The serving lady handed me my wrap which now felt like eating a lard butty with dripping chaser.

What had struck me was that whether that athletic looking man was a runner or not, at that precise moment he CHOSE to have that rather healthy Tuna sandwich over everything else the shop offered. When I had arrived at the counter I had exactly that same choice (although I was unlikely to choose Tuna blerrrggh).  I had chosen what I was craving, like some petulant child, not what would have given me the most benefit nutritionally.

It took me back to my first such “BAM” moment, back when I was 16 years old and weighing 17 ½ stone. I’d gone to London with a friend and we were walking around the Ted Baker shop in Carnaby Street. I’d gotten used to going into shops and coming out dejected as there was nothing in my (XXL) size, but at that moment I realised I was so unhappy with myself and my body that I have to change. So I subsequently joined Slimming World and 9 months and 3 ½ stone later I was in a much happier place.

Those of us who struggle with our weight and eating often liken it to a constant battle against the bulge, but is it? Really? Every moment of our lives we actually have free will and a choice of what to do. If I was to walk into that sandwich shop every day and order a wholemeal tuna sandwich, I would be making a correct choice, however it is only one of the many that I will make that day. Choosing whether to have cereal or bacon for breakfast, the biscuits that get passed round the office at 11am, the choice to raid the fridge on getting home from work, the finished wine bottle at the end of the evening. It’s so easy to make the wrong nutritional choices. It’s often easier to eat hastily prepared (or pre-prepared) shit, especially after a hard day at work. But we need to recognise that it is US that are actively choosing to do that. There is no great divine force pulling us towards the sausage rolls, just the inner caveman dragging us toward the quick gratification that they provide.

So what have I done about it? Well, I’ve tried to take some control back. I’m constantly aware that my food choices could be wiser. So I’ve enlisted a little help from the phone app MyFitnessPal. You log what you’ve eaten and drank and it shows you the nutritional make up for your day. I love it as it has stopped a lot of the mindless eating I was guiltily doing throughout the day.  It’s also very handy as you  an scan the barcodes of items to quckly get the info required. Much better than other apps I’ve seen in the past.

You also put in your exercise and it shows you how that affects your calorie intake for that day.

Yes, I’ve even logged my (occasional *cough*) glasses of wine on it.

Now I know it is not the answer to everything, but it’s a start. I’ve already been made aware after a few days that my balance of macronutrients isn’t quite right. I’ve got my mix of Fat and Protein percentages the wrong way round, could do with a bit less carb and a bit more Protein and that may explain why I struggle to recover well sometimes. I’m going to keep monitoring for a bit and see if I can make some good changes for the longer term.

I may never have the build of Tuna Sandwich Guy, but I can walk into the sandwich shop and order knowing I am making the best/right choice for me at that moment. What my body needs, not just what it wants.

Win Lose or Draw

AKA The Green-Eyed Monster

It has been a long winter, dear reader.  The cross country season was a bit of a right off personally, and Post-Xmas I seem to have been in an endless cycle of injuries, illness and grumpiness which hasn’t been fun for anyone involved.

That’s one of the reasons the blog has been a bit quiet. Whilst I know I’m not adverse to the odd grumble *cough*, six months of moaning is unpleasant to write and unpleasant to read.

One thing I would like to talk about though is a hardship we can seem to go through about this time of year. When the green shoots of Spring the start appearing, we all like to dust off those racing flats, don our vet-style short shorts and get out there and get racing. It feels good to be putting effort in at events we’ve spent many long dark months training for.

However, when you’ve been injured for a prolonged period, the weekends from late Feb onwards can be absolute bloody torture. Sitting there scowling with your leg raised and shivering under an ice pack, we see the endless parade off results coming in over social media in a blanket coverage that would have made the Luftwaffe proud. Admittedly, some are quite restrained, giving a time and not much else. Others are Facebook High-fiving for hours, maybe even days. When you’re friends with a lot of runners, Sundays can be tiring!

I have to ask is it just me that sees the endless stream of PBs flooding in and ends up just feeling, well shit. One of the joys of running is that we can celebrate the achievements of others, which is often down to a smidgen of talent and A LOT of hard work. The biggest difference between running and rowing, as I may have mentioned before, is that at the finish line, everyone is a winner.

I think it is hardest when the results are from those who you usually train with and are achieving times that you want to achieve.  Why is it that others winning can feel like you losing?

It seems a crazy question to ask, the rest of us will have our day at some point, and all runners are only one step away from their next injury. But it is hard enduring 6 weeks of “How the bloody hell did they run that quick!!” The answer is, of course, training, which some of us haven’t been able to do a lot off.

Before I appear like a complete twat, I do wish everyone well with their running, and I’m not sitting at home plotting anyone’s downfall cackling maniacally (much). In fact, I’ve turned it around into – If they can do it, so can I.

I've got some races coming up...and there's a job to do.

Like the Murphys…

Motivation

Motivation is a curious beast. Everyone, from Olympian to back-of-the -pack plodder will have their own reasons for putting themselves through the rigours of training an. I’m sure if you asked the participants on any start line in any sport what their motivation was, you’d likely get as many answers as there are discarded gel packs at the end of the race.

Motivation can also change over time. When coming into running, a lot of people (myself included) would cite weight loss as their primary aim. Over time, this can give way to improving PBs and general well-being not to mention stress relief and socialising with fellow runners and club mates.

However, is our motivation always a positive thing? When does drive become single-minded stubbornness. I’m going to let you into a secret, dear reader. One of the biggest reasons I had for putting down my blade and leaving the Rowing Club was to do with motivation. By this I don’t mean that I’d lost the will to compete or getter better, it was just that I realised what my motivation had been.

Anger.                                 

I realised I was angry at everything.  I was angry with the coach, I was angry with the club, fellow rowers, the system and above all angry with myself. I took a step back and saw that this wasn’t healthy for anyone involved. Somewhere along the way, I’d stopped rowing because it was an enjoyable activity that was improving me as a person and ended up rowing because I felt I had a point to prove. To whom I’m not sure, even now.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry...

So I took a long hard look at myself and asked the question “Do I need this to make me happy?” The answer was a resounding, releasing “No”.  Of course, it was not an easy decision to walk away. As an obsessive character, rowing was pretty much everything to me. But it was only one part of me and it doesn't have to define me.

Some can use anger-as-motivation to great effect and boxers seem to do it all the time quite successfully. However, in the situation I was in, my biggest motivation was also my biggest handicap. I wasn't helping those around me and I certainly wasn’t helping myself. I needed to do something that brought me joy.

So I put on a pair of running shoes.

Now don’t think I’m floating a couple of inches off the ground happy-clappy guru-style. I still get angry. But I’ve learnt to look at the causes earlier on and deal with them. My best running performances have always come when I’ve been my happiest and most relaxed.

My gears really get ground when someone convinces themselves they have to be my rival for running times. I want to shout “GET OVER YOURSELF”. I’m not interested in you as a rival, I’m interested in you as a friend. Mutual support is so much better than competition.

Running is my happy place, even when it’s raining. 

Not so much when I’m injured though, that properly blows.

The Cheerleader

Possibly seemingly contrary to the path I've chosen with my training and coaching, I would say one of the best things your can do for yourself as a runner is to surround yourself with like-minded people.

That is not to say everyone should run along to their nearest running club - some people thrive outside traditional structures.  But a group of people to share the training load with can lighten that load considerably.

The banter (good and bad) within a group can be a great driver and motivator. As well as encouragement, it can be necessary to stay grounded when the Ego starts running away with itself. Your training buddies can always be relied on for that! However, within your group there is possibly one or two that are your biggest training asset.

This entity is so precious it is worth more than solid Gold. I'm talking about the Cheerleader.

These people are relentlessly positive about your training. They’ll seemingly whoop for joy when you have a good session, drag you up by the shoulders when things seem to go badly and seem to have never-ending armfuls of expectation and optimism when it comes to your future.

It takes a while (well it’s taken me a while) to realise that this praise is sincere and heartfelt. It’s possible to gain amazing strength from it.

I've been very lucky to have had (and continue to have) some great cheerleaders in my life. Of course, it doesn't only apply to training and sport, we can have Cheerleaders in many areas of our professional and personal lives.

This post is to say a big thank you to those. There can be so much negativity in training and sport (I'm looking at you ‘too cool for school’ crowd).  Your input is greatly appreciated, especially at the times I probably don’t deserve it.

Once in a while, have a look around. Who is your cheerleader? When you work it out, make sure you thank them.